Understanding Life in Shadows: Lessons from Geoff

Geoff

Have you ever met that guy who tried to be the Man of Mystery.  He was quiet, reserved and sophisticated, until he wasn’t. Geoff worked for me. Despite his subtle actions and constant misdirection, most who spent any time with him knew more about him. They understood him better than he understood himself. Geoff was an African American, 5’10″, blue eyes, well groomed, dressed professionally.  Geoff, was a gay man living in a straight man’s world. Trying to pretend to be what he was not, to be accepted.  His significant other he introduced as his cousin Arnie. But a couple black eyes and lover’s spats over the phone or in the parking lot, told the truth. Geoff had a smile that lit up the room as they say and an infectious soft yet hearty giggle.

There are two things I remember most about Geoff, he was a University Graduate, Political Science.  But he strongly believed the government should pay off all student loans.  I had the pleasure of engaging Geoff on this topic. I explained to him that the taxpayers, myself and him included, are what fund the government. His retort was and I quote, “they can just print more money.”  While this may be true, evidently Geoff did not take economics too seriously while at the University. I pondered how many kids go thru life with the idea that money can simply fall from the sky. Some might also think it can be printed in mass without repercussions.

I did however gain a nugget of information from Geoff that is still with me to this day.  I share it with others as often as needed.  Geoff was a Baptist and an avid church goer.  His pastor shared a line with him that I found quite profound.  He said, the Lord may not come exactly when invited, but the Lord will always be there on time.  Since those days of working with Geoff, I have heard this message once or twice from others. Although I do not know the exact founding father of the phrase, it is one that I will never forget!

To some Geoff living in the shadows or living half a life because of his choosing, may be sad.  But Geoff seemed to handle it with style.  I knew Geoff for five years. He moved on. Maybe that is what one does if they want to remain a Man of Mystery!  If I could give you any wisdom from this, it would be to understand one thing. You never really know what someone has going on in their life. It’s best to treat everyone with equal respect and kindness. Everyone, everywhere, has something they have to deal with on their own. You never do know what people are going through and you do not always need to know. Just know you should be there for them silently supporting them as they deal.

If you believe in a higher power, understand they have their own timing. They will be there when they need to be, not a minute sooner.