Lessons from Travis: A Journey of Growth and Resilience

Travis

Travis was like a son to me. He had the same sign as my Dad and Husband. He also had almost the same birthday. It was no surprise that I adored him. He was funny and gregarious. He never seemed to take life too seriously. He was always a bit on the doughy side, an avid hiker and outdoors man. He had perfect strawberry blond quaff of hair. He also had a dazzling and charming smile. His eyes were the bluest of blue.

Travis worked for me for about ten years, I recruited him from another location and he did not disappoint.  Travis would have everyone in stitches telling stories of swiping right and left on Tinder. He was the first person I knew over fifteen years ago that was embracing crypto. 

Behind all his outward happiness, Travis did have a silent struggle. His fear of commitment that I believed stemmed from his broken home. Travis was one of the many people I discussed the importance of a college degree with. Three years later he would be thanking me for encouraging him to complete his degree.  I struggled with that conversation later on as I had not realized how expensive college had become.

I had earned my degrees on student loans. I paid the loans off ten years after graduating. Having that degree helped me land some great paying careers. I wondered about a different path. Perhaps, taking that money or that loan to start your own business would have been a better option. I did just that instead of getting my advanced degree and that journey took me on a lucrative entrepreneurial journey.

Travis repeatedly thanked me for encouraging him to finish his degree. I do hope it paid off for him in the end. I would just caution against giving this advice in the future. Education expense seems to have gotten out of control. Starting ones own business may be a better option.

Travis’s commitment issues in my opinion stemmed from his strained relationship with his dad. Travis’ Dad had left him and his Mom to marry another woman. He then had another child.  When Travis spoke of his Dad, his eyes showed the same hurt I saw in my nephew’s eyes.  But that is another story for another day.

Despite growing up without a full-time Dad, Travis turned out to be a wonderful human being. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Travis. If you can take anything from this post, understand the importance of becoming a Dad. Stay committed to being that Dad. Growing up in a home absent a Dad who was once there can be very traumatizing. Dads and Moms are equally important. If you choose to be a Dad, stay committed to being a Dad until your child becomes an adult. Even if the relationship with your spouse ends, realize the importance of maintaining a relationship with your child.