The Impact of Upbringing: A Reflection on Michelle’s Journey

Michelle

I have met a couple of Michelle’s in my life, but just one comes to mind that enlightened me.  She was cute, spunky, freckle faced. Scottish by genetics and a drinking problem that came with it!  She was of average height, blue eyes and very fit. She was attractive and full of spitfire.  She worked in sales, which fit her personality and life of rejection well. 

Her upbringing was less than desirable. Both her parents were heavy drinkers, they separated while Michelle was in high school. Michelle’s mother helped her sister and Michelle find an apartment so she could moved in with her boyfriend. Her mother covered the bills but not much else. Michelle and her sister struggled just to eat. I hired her as a sales rep at nineteen and initially she was awesome. But her demons would eventually own her.

I have always believed “what goes around comes around.” In other words, Karma exists. It will get you, good or bad.  Michelle was always one to park in handicap spots. She would laugh if someone else fell in front of her. You might say she was a little evil. Our male customers loved her, she could drink with the best of them.  That is what led her to jail at age 28. This was a year or two after she no longer worked for me.  She just could not stop the drinking and driving and the bad choices in life. 

The four years she worked for me, I tried to reign her in, to get her help with her drinking.  Michelle did briefly see a therapist, but she spoke negatively of the experience. She felt that the therapist, a female, had a crush on her.  It was not hard to believe, Michelle attracted a lot of suitors. When she would tell the stories of her sessions, you had to laugh.  The therapist would talk to Michelle about her own issues, which to me, seemed a bit sad and very inappropriate.

I have never sought out therapy. Growing up in a stable, two parent household, neither of my parents smoked nor drank heavily. My mother a devout catholic, my father just a fun guy, I was fortunate.  Meeting the Michelle’s of the world taught me to really appreciate my upbringing. You never really understand how beneficial it is to have your own bed, clothes, and food. This realization comes when you meet those who struggle just to have those necessities.  It is not because their parents could not afford them. It is because their parents chose booze, cigarettes, or drugs over feeding and caring for their own offspring. Maybe chose is not the right word. Addiction is something I have never had to deal with and will never truly understand. I am sure it is not easy.

I am thankful everyday for the upbringing I had, and I owe the realization of that to Michelle. I understand she found her way to God through AA. I certainly hope she has someone in her life, wherever she is, to appreciate the spunkiness of a sober Michelle. I hope they see her beauty like I did.